Dead But Alive
by 22wolf
Summary: Eric hasn't made anyone in over a century and he's content with that fact. But when he learns some new things about Anyx, a girl whose caught his eye, he just might change his mind.


The most interesting part of my relationship with Eric Northman occurred during the last days of my life. I had recently moved to Bon Temps and was doing my best to integrate my self with the Supe community. I was a therapist and an avid lover of anything 'different' and 'new'. I'd already heard from some of the contracts I had things about Dallas, the fellowship, and murmurs of an ancient creature wreaking havoc. My knowledge was limited but it was enough. I was mostly up front from the get-go and kept the identity of all those I'd spoken with close to my chest and buried as deep as I could since there was a telepath about.

I'd like to believe that my extensive communication skills and education in the field of psychology was the reason I persuaded Eric to speak to me. But I knew that even the great therapist can't make a vampire open up based solely upon their merit. I have no doubts that Eric didn't want to speak to someone – at least part of him did. There is no making Eric do anything he doesn't want to do. I think he had the closest thing to trust a aged, political vampire can have for a human. After a few weeks of thinly veiled threats about killing me, Eric and I talked about things he could find no one else to talk to about. But he always kept secrets.

It was my ability to either not care or not show fear (depending on the day), that drew him to me. And he wasn't just a fascination, just a project, and (if you could ever call him that in the first place) not just a client to me.

I ventured out to Sookie's house to pick up my hoodie that I'd forgotten there. The door was ajar and I knocked briefly before walking into the foyer. I heard very loud voices, but couldn't make out any words. Bill and Eric were in the living room standing a few feet apart with their fangs out.

"What's going on?" I asked looking between the two of them.

"Nothing….Eric was just leaving." Bill said.

"Be careful Bill, this isn't over" Eric said and walked out past me so fast I couldn't stop him.

"What was that about?" I said. Bill retracted his fangs, but didn't reply. "I'm going after him." I huffed and began to walk out.

"If you keep this up, you'll get yourself killed." Bill yelled to me.

At this I stopped. Maybe it was watching the fight between him and Eric. Maybe it was me not liking anyone yelling at a 6'4 Viking who didn't need anyone to defend him. Maybe it was a mix of being stressed and cold without my hoodie – but I felt compelled to reply.

"Bill, I'm dying." I told him with a clear voice. "Does it matter if its in two years, two weeks, or TO-day?"

He seemed to have no words for this. He had one foot in front of the other like he was ready to follow me, his arm extended ready to grasp mine, and his mouth open like he wanted to say something.

I strolled out before he had a chance to act. I walked a few feet down the property and yelled for Eric.

"ERIC….unless you jumped in your car or flew back to Shreveport already I know you can hear me." I stood there looking for him.

I heard a small 'whoosh' behind me before Eric's spoke right into my ear.

"I'm here. I heard you."

I knew he was happy that he'd spooked me by coming up behind me like this. I decided to ignore that.

"What was that about?" I asked without turning around.

"None of your concern." He said with his 'r' sounding different than usual.

He was angry and I wanted to get away before Bill or Sookie came outside.

"Fine. Can we get out of here? We'll go to my place. I even have blood."

He made no reply and I did something I rarely ever do, I said 'please'. I'm a polite person, but I tend to not want to show anything other than certainty when I'm around someone like Eric. He seemed surprised by this and agreed to get in my car with me.

It was silent drive. So silent I was alternating between gripping the steering wheel and digging my nails into my palms to keep me calm. After I parked the car, we walked into the house and sat down in the front room with the same deafening silence.

"Is what you said to Bill true?" he asked quietly.

I took a breath. "Yes."

He was once again silent. After moment he turned to me. "I can fix that for you." He said with his fangs out.

"Thank you." I said. "but I'll pass."

"What do you mean 'you'll pass'? You want to die?" His voice rose and he edged closer to me.

I took a deep breath. This was an emotional topic and he also looked very scary. The anger was painted on his face. There is no mistaking Eric's love of life, but he also harbors a hatred of death. I don't know if this abhorrence was because death was the antithesis of what he loved or if Godric's final death had caused his strong feelings on the matter.

"No….but I'm com- at peace with it. The hardest thing about dying is losing my family. How would this help that?" I asked.

"They'd rather have you dead than be a vampire?"

"I….don't know. Hope not." I truly don't know. I think most of them would not be able to accept me and some would do it begrudgingly.

"If they'd rather have you dead, you shouldn't care what they think." He let out a small growl. "This is insane."

"Eric," I placed my hand on his wrist. "I appreciate what you are offering, but I've had time to think about dying, don't I deserve some time to think about this?"

He stared at me for long moment. "Fine." He stood up to leave.

"Are you mad?" I asked.

"No. Think hard." He said without turning to look back at me.

And I did. I stayed up most of the night and paced around the house for most of the next day.

I fell asleep in the afternoon, close to nightfall, and was awakened by a knock at the door. I figured 'a while' would mean more than one day to someone who was over a thousand years old, apparently I know very little.

I let him in.

I opened my mouth to tell him I still was unsure, when he cut me off.

"We should have sex" he said without preamble.

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me" He said with great irritation.

"Why?" I asked bewildered. I don't think I could have been more surprised or dumbfounded.

He sighed impatiently. "We should have sex. I want to see what….chemistry we have"

"Oh….well if it's a chemistry experiment, why not?" I said sarcastically. He was serious. I didn't know if I was offended, just plain shocked, or scared. He was behaving in a way I didn't expect. I had no idea what else he was thinking of. If I accepted his offer, did that mean I had to pay him back? Did I have to pass a "chemistry exam"?

He looked at me and I decided it was best to stop being flippant.

"I want to know how we will bond physically. I know you find me attractive. Where is your room?" he asked and turned his head to see down the hallway.

"Eric….this is crazy. I figured when you came here that we were going to talk about last night-"

"This comes first." He cut me off. I stared at him. I had no idea how to handle this. You never want to anger a vampire. And I admitted to myself that while I was greatly unsure about being a vampire, I was nervous to have the offer taken off the table. I was equally scared that I could expect this kind of matter-of-fact insane behavior on a regular basis if he turned me. There would also be no reason for him to keep up any of the politeness (albeit very little) vampires had with humans who weren't bonded to them.

He grabbed my hands and started to pull me. I was defiantly scared at this point. Did I just enter a situation where I wasn't being asked, but being told that this was something I had to do? He was so confident when he said we should have sex. Maybe he didn't see it as matter up for debate.

"Eric, wait." I tried to not walk with him as he lead me closer to the hall (he guessed right) where my bedroom was. He stopped and looked at me.

"We shouldn't do this."

"Yes we should. I need to know how we'll be together. Why are you resisting this so much?" He asked. He didn't seem to expect an answer as he began to move us close to my room once more.

"Eric." I was terrified "Please!"

He stopped and looked at me hard.

"I've never forced sex from anyone in my life. Why are you being so difficult?" He looked at me once more. I think he was trying to figure out what I was thinking. I began to relax slightly. It was nice to know this big Viking vamp wasn't a rapist. But then again, vampires have different terms than humans do. Maybe I didn't have to agree, but just stop being 'difficult'. On second thought, maybe humans and vampires share some of the same terms.

"Why do you need to see how we are together? What if I don't want to?" I asked, my hands still trapped in his hold.

"I might end up turning you. Its best to find out now. I don't see why you don't want to. You are unattached, thinking about letting me turn you, and I know you want me." He said the last part in such an arrogant way. Eric Northman knew that most every woman wanted Eric Northman.

I did want Eric. He was gorgeous. While I was no fangbanger, I loved his fangs. I liked the way he bared them when he smiled. I liked how he would 'accidentally' press up against me and I'd feel his cool, hard body. I know he loved that he couldn't quite draw out a reaction, but I'm sure he could smell how aroused I was by him.

"So...if you turn me, I can expect…to have sex with you?" I struggled on how to phrase this.

"You'll be mine." He replied. I knew a maker's bond with their child was complex and strong. I began to wonder just how strong. Would I be giving up my rights to disagree with him? Say no to his requests?

I couldn't think of anything intelligent to say. By intelligent, I didn't just mean words that make sense, but something that wouldn't do anything but keep him calm.

He shook his head. I was annoying him. This was a life changing terrifying thing for me, and a minor annoyance for him.

"I want us to have sex. You're going to like it and we'll find out what I need to know. Anyx, are you going to be adamantly against this?" he asked.

"If I am?" I asked quietly.

"You want to know if I'll force you?" I nodded.

"No." He said and looked at me with steady eyes. His grip wasn't tight, but it was firm. I could tell he wasn't happy with this change of events. He expected me to walk him to my room and have sex with him right when he first told me what he wanted. "I still need to know if we have chemistry. And if we do, I'll want to have sex with you. Rather I turn you or not."

You couldn't get more blunt than that. I decided not to come out and ask if he'd refuse to turn me if I didn't consent right now. He was reining in his temper as is. I decided that I didn't want to risk this. If he left now, that would be the end of it. If I angered him – I had no idea what would happen. It could be the end of me. I had to plan for today.

"Okay." He looked at me for a moment and began to walk us toward my room once more and I walked with him. Slowly.

He moved with a purpose. once we were in the room he swung my arm and gently propelled me in front of him, kicking the door shut as he stepped in behind me. he looked a me for one second. it waa like he both confused and preparing for an event he was looking forward to. his eyes were clear, he gave a slight nod of his head (this was more of an act for himself and not a physical communicatino aimed at me), his fangs were out and he walked toward me. he placed his hands on my hips and drew me to him. my hands rose in the air, raised up toward my shoulders, fings spread apart. I was still very nervous. I lowered them and places my finger tips on his upper arms. I tilted my head to look at his face. although I'd never shown nor acknowed my fear of eric, his hands on me, his body against mine, and his fangs clearly viable made for frightening situation. he leaned down to kiss me and suprrisingly it was very gentle

It was weird to kiss man with fangs that scratched my lips. I guess fangbangers learn to practice kissing vampires so they don't get their mouthes torn up. he pulled back and inhaled sharply. this was definatly a sensory experience for him. most things with vampires seem to be experience through all 5 dimestions of their hyperstimulated senses. this was no difference.

He leaned down to kiss my neck and I gasped. I was scared he's bit me, but teeth only scraped my skin. I'd been bitten by humans during sex before, never breaking the skin, and it was an amazing sensation. eric had a thousand years to learn every snesitive part of the body. he knew how to be gentle, rough, and everything in between. he qucikly pciked up on my likes as his lips kissed me, his fangs drug across my skin, he sucked the tender skin on my throat, and began tracing a path over my artery to my ear with his tongue.  
he was holding himself back and I could tell it was begining to get diffiuclt for him to do so. he began to push on me and walk forward. I had no choice but to follow his lead until the back of my kness hit my bed. I came down into a sitting position.

He looked at me again with that same intensity that was beyond unnerving. his hand came down and stroked my hair. my eyes stared into his and I held my composure as best I could. my hands gripped the end of my mattress and I listened to the sound of my own breathing to calm me. this was the best way to handle a situation when you have a 6'3 viking towering voer you. your breathing shound be steady, clear, and rhythmic. when I heard different, I regulated myself.

It was as though he wanted to bother figure me out and ensure I was willing. his handed moved over my head, to my shouldes, down my arms, and mvoed to my sides. he grabed the hem of my shirt and began to tug it up. my arms moved with his as he began to disrobe me. he unhooked my bra and pulled it off. with one fluid mothion he pressed me into the bed, his hands on my shoulders, and brought one knee on to the matress beside me. he looked down, caught my eye, and began to scan my body. he lovely blue eyes stared longingly at my breasts. he showed no distaste when he saw my abdomine. I was far from skinny and my curves were soft as well as lusious.

"I could keep prolonging this.....but I don't want to" he said to me in a very quiet voice

…….

(This is a short story. There will probably be about 2-3 chapters. Sorry to leave the cliff hanger)


End file.
